FoR YOu~

分离不是遗憾，
永别才是弥补不起的缺憾...

althought i knew u duno how to read n will nvr got the chance to read tis...
althought i knew tat tis day wil come some how...
althought i knew death is cant b avoid....
i knew tis all...all of tis from the very beginning....
but...juz....
i juz cant accept tis....really hard 4 me to accept tis....
but...i forced to accept tis....i cant keep on lie to myself,can i?

1-0ct-2009 6.34am
a msg from my dad.....
"Bad mew grandma was pass away 5am-6am"

so early in the morning....i get such new...
it shocked me....
it so sudden....
it....

well....i got think b4....wat if she really pass away....wat response would i hav?
now i knew dy...
a COMPLICATED feeling....
shuold i b happy 4 her?since she has free from all the sickness n uncomfortable now....
or i should b sad 4 losing her...
if i should b happy 4 it,then tel me a way tat can stop my tears;
if is sad,then giv me a place 4 tat, a place which no1 can found me....juz me...all alone....

she meant a lot to me....
she was the 1 who look after when i was a child...
she always care abt me,endure me n love me alot.....
she was my avthg....
now all of tis can juz b was....
all was passed...i cant c her anymore....NO MORE!!!!u had promised me b4....tat u'll acc me 4 my entire life....
but how can u leave me 1st??
i should hav stay v u....stay at the place whr v can b together....
wil thr b happy ever after 4 us??
i guess i should not act like tis....tis not any1's fault....
i can blame on no1......

I really think of not to tell any1 abt tis...
even is zy,coz she hav her own probas well...
i cant always bother her...
but then it juz too much to me...i cant stand tat....
well....until now i oso thinking whether it was the right thg to do?
she made me cried at the canteen thr....so many ppl thr...so yu pei....
but she oso acc me cry....
feel sorry 4 her....
nvr saw her drop a single drop of tears since v were here...but bcoz of me...she cried...
such caring n nice fren whr can i find?
luckily i hav u.....
she tried to cheer me up....whole day....
i can c how much she care abt me...
im so sorry 4 make u worry abt me.....n thanks a lot 4 all the thg.....
im ok now....really ok dy.....
althought still need some time to accept tis...but i wil b ok soon...

feel sorry 4 cant go home to c her off,cant send her 4 the last....
wish to go bac badly....
SORRY~

thank you 4 all the thg u hav done 4 me,
thank you 4 so care n love me,
thank you 4 av av av thg.....
i so sorry tat i cant c u off...
sorry 4 being rude....
sorry....
hope u can rest in peace....
i'll pray 4 u...
i'll miss u...
goodbye...