h0w cAN I???

HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL!!!
to u all,my frens....

until juz now ony i knew....how selfish im....
i juz thk of my own feeling....
put myself at the 1st place....
without thk of other's feeling.....

i keep on asking my dad to do tis n tat 4 me.....
if he do tat late a bit,i'll juz simply thk tat he wasn't care abt me....
but i nvr thk of he oso got his own stuff to do.....
he oso got a lot thgs tat bothering him.....

i stil rmb tat i hav called bac home last 2 weeks....
i juz ask him to do all the thgs 4 me....
post the thgs,book airplane....
all my stuff....
i din even ask anythg abt him....
he had spent so much on me....not only money....still got a lot thgs....

n now i regret 4 tat...deeply....
i should hav ask....even juz how r u?
3 simple words....
if i asked tat time,i thk i will get to know my grandma's situation....
i can oso talk to her...
even juz 1......
now...
all were too late....TOO LATE....
all were juz TOO LATE to say now....
any apologize wil juz b meaningless...

juz got to know tis is the better way 4 her....
coz she were suffering recently....
her situation not very good.....
juz got to know...JUZ KNEW...
i know ntg...anything...ANY SINGLE 1 of tis....
i oso duno....
how i can b so not concern abt them??
they r my family...irreplaceable 1....the 1 n only....
HOW CAN I?
HOW COULD ME?

when i need u,u always b thr 4 me....
when i need care,u always care abt me....
but when u suffering,i ain't thr....
when u need some1 to hold u,i not thr....
when u want some1 to listen to u,whr im?
when i v u,wat i doing?
when u gave out the last breath,whr im?n wth i doing???
u always thr 4 me, but me ler??
wat im??hate myself....

she'll b bury today...mayb....
c...even when she wil b bury i oso duno...
wat kind of ppl im?how can i b so heartless??
HOW CAN I???

tears drop NON-STOP
my table was wet
after i finish writing tis...
such a big area...
wondering how much tears tat i can drop?
when n who can wipe my tears off
n tel me not to cry,
comfort me v action,not words....
mayb is no1....
juz the time can do tat....
MAYB JUZ THE TIME....